What's my job?

yo #3 here....

I've had a couple of those weeks where you just wonder 

WHAT THE CRAP AM I DOING?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?? 

WHY CAN'T I GET MY $#!* TOGETHER??

I was being abusive.... to myself... and i needed to QUIT IT!!

Why are we so hard on ourselves? I would never talk to a stranger or loved one like I was talking to myself. 

I did a lot of soul searching during the last 2 weeks... I was stuck at home sick with pneumonia....it was probably the best thing that could have happened to me being in that destructive bully state of mind.

FORCING myself to be thankful for every strained breath I was taking. MAKING myself see how blessed I am for so many good friends, neighbors and family members that came to help me without my asking for it.

BEGGING in my prayers to feel better and asking God to heal my body. 

It was during this time that I would ask myself....

What is my job here? What the crap is my purpose?

I don't know if I found the answer exactly...but I know that I DID find out what is NOT my job...

It's not my job to beat myself up...

It's not my job to be perfect...

It's not my job to judge others...
It is not my job to be a self pity queen...

I was not put on this earth for that...

I was not put on this earth for worrying about having a "thigh gap" and "flat abs"...
I was not put on this earth to keep wrinkles off my face....
I was not put on this earth to come up with the best pinterest worthy dinners...

I was not put on this earth for the "cleanest house" competition....

All I know...is that I just wanna be around people that love me....

Around my family....my sisters....my parents...my children...

I wanna do good things....and be a good person....and lift others.....SHINE LIGHT. 

So I say to myself....
"I'M SORRY for being mean"
and MOVE ON....

AND THAT INCLUDES OURSELVES!!!

I do like myself.... and I am worthy of my own love....

I know there are things that I need to work on... and thank goodness for that...cuz how boring to be perfect all the time!!! ha!

I also know that when I talk nice to myself...  that motivates ME... and I do better things... I feel better....

IT'S MY JOB TO BE MY BEST FRIEND!!!

I'm not perfect....and while on this earth I never will be....

But I will be nice......

(i need this on a shirt..hahaha)